In her new book Life & Love, serial entrepreneur and editor of The Collective Lisa Messenger reveals the rollercoaster of running a global magazine and how she still finds time to mix business and pleasure. Lisa shows us 6 ways to find and keep ‘The One’ leading upto Valentine’s Day:
1. DON’T WORRY ABOUT TIMING
When it comes to relationships, people often go on about the importance of timing. Well, when I met my partner, in theory it was the absolute worst time for me to
fall headlong in love. The Collective was in its infancy, I was under so much pressure, my team was practically sleeping at the office and my life was already bursting at the seams with commitments and responsibilities. But in fact, he brought me balance during the most stressful year of my career to date.
2. DON’T FORGET THE SMALL STUFF
While I was writing Life & Love, a friend showed me a page from her diary as a 13-year- old, where she had drawn a detailed diagram of her first kiss – with their exact lip position – just in case she forgot how to do it. Now, when we’re in a relationship, kissing is something we do (hopefully) day after day, week after week, and there is a danger it becomes just like brushing your teeth – perfunctory, mundane and insignificant. Imagine if every kiss carried the same adrenaline rush as your first?
3. NEVER SHRINK YOURSELF
In both Life & Love and its prequel, Daring & Disruptive, I talk in-depth about the importance of approaching business as the fullest version of yourself. I truly believe the same should apply
to romantic relationships. Yet, so many of us – myself included – are guilty of shrinking ourselves to attract a partner, so that we don’t intimidate, overwhelm or appear “too much” in general. When you find “the one” they’ll happily be able to handle all that you are.
4. DO THE LEG WORK
I used to be a romantic disaster. Really! And then one day I decided to take action. I am never satisfied with having a problem and not doing everything I can to personally solve it. So, I read books, I sought help and, despite having very limited funds at the time, I scraped my spare cash together to attend courses as far reaching as a two-week stay in a raw food, vegan “love commune” in the Costa Rican jungle. In Life & Love, I share the strategies that I think worked for me, and those which didn’t. Even if it was a “placebo effect”, I at least felt better for taking positive steps.
5. DON’T JUDGE QUICKLY
On day one of the aforementioned “love commune” I met a guy called “Sparkle” who described himself as a “radical faerie” (it’s a thing – Google it). My barriers came up, and my judgment was on high alert. But by the end of the week I was embarrassed at my initial feelings. He had stepped straight into who he was and was owning it 100 per cent, no apologies. No, he wasn’t my “one” romantically but we became wonderful friends, and I learnt a very important lesson about first impressions.
6. TWO’S COMPANY – BUT SO IS A COMMUNITY
Love doesn’t just mean a bond between two life partners, or even friends or family members. My main mission when launching The Collective magazine was to go against the bad news cycle by spreading uplifting and inspiring stories, and in doing so, create a community of like-minded individuals who could guide and motivate each other. The response has been phenomenal. Every week I get hundreds of letters, emails and social media comments from readers sending their gratitude and saying thank you for helping them. These love letters are indescribably precious to me and often bring a tear to my eye, as they prove the power of people working together, whether it’s a couple or complete strangers.
Life & Love by Lisa Messenger is on sale Feb 12. Visit The Collective Hub for more.
