Rescu. chats up Bridget Holland, International Dating Expert, on chivalry, ‘the rules’ and finding romance over the holidays.
Having headed up some of Australia’s top dating companies and now the General Manager of TeleCafe, Bridget is an expert in everything dating. Over the years, she has built up a wealth of knowledge and experience that she was only too happy to pass on to all the single ladies.
RESCU: Why do you think it is so hard to meet people these days?
Bridget Holland: “I think a lot of us taking dating way too seriously. Check lists, dreams of the perfect partner and the perfect relationship are important for figuring out what you want, but keeping an open mind and a keen sense of adventure are equally necessary when it comes to dating. Don’t be afraid to try something new like getting set up by a friend, phone dating or speed dating – enjoy the journey!”
RESCU: What do you think is missing from modern dating?
Bridget Holland: “I don’t think there is necessarily anything missing from modern dating but I think we could really benefit from injecting a bit of old fashioned chivalry back into the whole process. I’m not suggesting we go back to the dark ages but good manners will never go out of fashion.”
RESCU: What do you think is the most important aspect of relationships?
Bridget Holland: “I think that conversations are the single most important aspects of relationships.
You can learn so much about the other person by just chatting – whether it be face to face, over the phone or via email. A simple, honest conversation is all it takes to start flirting with a handsome stranger!”
RESCU: Christmas can be a depressing time for countless women facing the gloom of being constantly asked “why are you still single?” at functions (like a poor old Bridget Jones cliché). What can girls do over summer to up the romantic stakes?
Bridget Holland: “Now is a great time for socialising, relaxing and letting your hair down after working hard all year. TeleCafe’s figures have revealed a very interesting trend – almost 20% more women are casting the line over the festive period. Instead of waiting for men to take the lead or obeying all the “rules” as they do all year long, women are throwing caution to the wind and taking action.”
“Christmas and New Year is almost guaranteed to be the busiest time in your social calendar – if you find yourself unattached, recently broken up or just feeling flirty, use this time as an opportunity to start up a conversation and meet someone new.
It’s not always as easy as it sounds to approach someone you’ve never met before. Good conversational skills and confidence are the keys to success when chatting to new people, especially of the opposite sex.
I’ve put together my top tips which should set you on the path to chatting your way through the party circuit this festive season. You never know what might happen!”
Bridget’s top chatting tips this festive season:
Relax
Keep in mind that the average person speaks over 16, 000 words per day – proving that anyone can be good at talking! Don’t put pressure on yourself to meet the love of your life every time you are out. Be open to meeting new people and different experiences.
Confidence
Nothing is sexier than someone who oozes confidence through their voice and body language. Make sure you look the other person in the eye, don’t fidget and dress to impress.
Practise
If chatting to new people isn’t your strength, all you need to do is put yourself out there more often to overcome that initial fear. You can do this by circulating at parties and trying to engage with as many people as possible. If this is still too daunting, consider trying TeleCafe or internet dating first where you can start talking from the comfort of your own home and even be anonymous if you like. In no time at all, you’ll be able to use these skills when you are next out and about.
Introduce yourself properly
Ever been stuck talking to someone whose name you can’t remember? It’s distracting and can lead to awkward situations. When you approach someone new make sure you pronounce your name clearly and don’t be afraid of clarifying his or hers too. It might seem old fashioned, but it’s important and can help you make the leap into other topics – for example about where the person is originally from.
Ask questions
Whoever said flattery will get you everywhere was right! Try to focus the conversation on the other person. You’ll quickly discover what they like and dislike and avoid boring them by talking about something that interests you but not them.
Listen
These days we are always in a rush. This holiday slow down and take the time to really listen and think about your responses – most people don’t ever get the chance to be heard to so if you are the one to do it they will love you for it.
Don’t drink too much
It’s very straight forward, but a trap we have all fallen into. Keep your intake of water above that of champagne and you should be on the road to finding a good balance. Slurring is not a good look.
And don’t forget to sign up for Telecafe.
