If you’re Ruebenesque in stature and feel it’s negatively affecting your after-dark activities, read on.
Body confidence is crucial to sexual confidence. They go together like Sarah Jessica Parker and Manolo Blahniks.
Body confidence is crucial to sexual confidence. They go together like Sarah Jessica Parker and Manolo Blahniks.
image via pinterestGained some weight? Lost some tone? Feeling less than sexy now? Here are RESCU’s top tips on being plus-size and having a sizzling, delicious sex life – the one you deserve.
Work on your self esteem.
There’s absolutely no reason that you are any less of a sex goddess than a size-0 model if you happen to be a size 16 or up. You have boobs, bounteous hips and other great gifts; the key is to embrace them.
Body-loathing is pretty common among modern Western women, and it can wreak havoc on your sex life regardless of your size. If you’re always reaching for a cover-up, insisting that the lights stay off, or trying to keep your partner from seeing you in your full glory, you’re not going to enjoy the experience.
So if you want your sex life to improve, start with your head. Do whatever works – affirmations, therapy or counselling, keeping a diary, confiding in friends – but make positive moves.
Research shows that a confident woman is sexiest, so work on your confidence as a priority.
Only sleep with respectful, enthused partners.
This should go without saying. Unfortunately, it doesn’t.
Partners can be unintentionally – or intentionally – cruel about weight, particularly in the vulnerable area of the bedroom. This is unacceptable, and you need to make that clear.
If you’re not with a person who clearly, loudly and enthusiastically embraces your body (and there are many people for whom the ideal is very far from a stick figure), either make it clear that they’re acting without respect for your feelings, or go get somebody else.
Partners can be unintentionally – or intentionally – cruel about weight, particularly in the vulnerable area of the bedroom. This is unacceptable, and you need to make that clear.
If you’re not with a person who clearly, loudly and enthusiastically embraces your body (and there are many people for whom the ideal is very far from a stick figure), either make it clear that they’re acting without respect for your feelings, or go get somebody else.
Buy lingerie which fits.
Trying to get into your exquisite La Perla from three sizes ago is a horrendous experience, and one you shouldn’t put yourself through.
Always wear lingerie which fits properly. It’s designed to be a second skin, not to be a restrictive, uncomfortable endurance test.
Figleaves has beautiful plus-size things, as does Bravissimo. Be kind to yourself.
And as for the too-small lingerie – either put it away or get rid of it.
Always wear lingerie which fits properly. It’s designed to be a second skin, not to be a restrictive, uncomfortable endurance test.
Figleaves has beautiful plus-size things, as does Bravissimo. Be kind to yourself.
And as for the too-small lingerie – either put it away or get rid of it.
Spend more time naked.
Being comfortable in your own skin is essential for a good sexual experience. It will help if you become used to, and delight in, your body.
Spending more time without clothing normalises the experience of your nudity, and forces you not to ignore your body under clothes or cover-ups.
Regard it as a sexy treat to yourself – a body-acceptance course. Go skinny-dipping; do your housework naked (with the blinds shut); be alone with yourself and your naked body.
Once you learn to treat it with kindness, you’ll be able to heat up the bedroom.
Spending more time without clothing normalises the experience of your nudity, and forces you not to ignore your body under clothes or cover-ups.
Regard it as a sexy treat to yourself – a body-acceptance course. Go skinny-dipping; do your housework naked (with the blinds shut); be alone with yourself and your naked body.
Once you learn to treat it with kindness, you’ll be able to heat up the bedroom.
Be healthy.
Regardless of weight, this is an essential part of sexual health – for good orgasms, longer stamina and greater pleasure.
Crash dieting not only throws off your body’s metabolism. It also impacts your sexual health, your libido and (in some cases) your hormones. It’s bad for you in more ways than one.
If weight gain is affecting your libido or pleasure, see your doctor or nutritionist to sort out a plan to help. (Some heavier women report that they become less responsive in their intimate areas as blood vessels become blocked.) Exercises which target the pelvic area can often be a good solution, as they get the blood pumping.
Instead, maintain the usual boring healthy-lifestyle routine, in pursuit of health rather than lost weight. And remember that in the right circumstances, sex can be great cardio.
Lady Friday xx
Taking the pillow talk out of the bedroom, every Friday…
Crash dieting not only throws off your body’s metabolism. It also impacts your sexual health, your libido and (in some cases) your hormones. It’s bad for you in more ways than one.
If weight gain is affecting your libido or pleasure, see your doctor or nutritionist to sort out a plan to help. (Some heavier women report that they become less responsive in their intimate areas as blood vessels become blocked.) Exercises which target the pelvic area can often be a good solution, as they get the blood pumping.
Instead, maintain the usual boring healthy-lifestyle routine, in pursuit of health rather than lost weight. And remember that in the right circumstances, sex can be great cardio.
Lady Friday xx
Taking the pillow talk out of the bedroom, every Friday…
