By Colleen Cuneo, Confidence Expert
www.cuneoproductions.com
If you can’t seem to make your relationships work, it may be that you’re in a bad relationship with you. RESCU’s Confidence Expert, Colleen Cuneo, tells us how to love ourselves first.
Do you want the perfect relationship? What will it take and how will you get it? If you’ve set out to find the perfect man to make it all happen for you, you could be in for a rough ride.
Many women spend their lives searching for the right person to make them feel complete. But what if there’s nobody to love, or that great love falls apart? Where do you go then?
Your relationships won’t be fulfilling until you focus on the most important relationship of all – the one you have with yourself. And in order to have a fulfilling relationship with yourself, you need to know your emotions.
Super-sleuth your emotions
One of the key factors to building a great relationship with yourself is to become aware of how you relate and respond to your emotions.
If you look carefully, you will notice that there are certain emotions that you struggle with. For example, you experience anxiety or anger and you feel as though you have failed or that you are out of control. As we know it is quite common for people to become stuck in states of anxiety, anger or depression and feel helpless.
Learn to love your emotions
Learning to be with your emotions is key to understanding more about who you are and in turn attracting a relationship that is built on LOVE not NEED.
Consider this, your emotions are like children and like any child who lacks attention or love, these emotions will end up screaming louder and louder until you take notice of them and in many cases, will manifest as pain in your body.
Here are some easy steps to help you start to change the relationship you have with yourself…
Let’s use anger as an example, something is triggered and you feel angry, your mind then sets about on a future action of, lets say revenge, this is where I suggest you try another option.
Here’s how:
- Feel the anger – sit with it, welcome it in and say to yourself “anger is present” – not “I am angry” and don’t try to fix it or change it.
- Breathe and continue this throughout the whole exercise.
- Give the anger a colour or a shape and acknowledge where or how it feels in the body and just observe it.
- Ask where it comes from? What it has to tell you is integral to your success at overcoming it.
- Learn to sit with the emotion for a while and once you feel its power decrease over you and you have established where it comes from, simply let it go.
All these exercises take are a bit of practise and once you see how easy it is to be with yourself, a great thing will happen – other people will feel that ease also.
You will then begin to attract relationships that mirror the one you are having with yourself – don’t kid yourself that it can work any other way, if you want a balanced and healthy relationship it has to start from within.
For more information on Colleen and the programs she runs, click here for her website.
