We’re all guilty of accepting a Facebook friend request just because we feel a little guilty or even adding someone we haven’t seen in years just so we can check out what they’re up to. But what do all these mindless additions to our friend count really create? A recent article in The Guardian online calls it an, ‘awkward hodgepodge’ and, we have to say, we kind of agree.
By Chloe Schneider
As Oliver Burkeman says in his Guardian column, “Before the internet, we kept things manageable by natural attrition: if there were people you didn’t want to see any more, then by and large you didn’t see them.”
Today, these ‘friends’ stay with us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn. They are updated on our love life, our job, and what we ate for breakfast. As we collect these ‘friends’ you have to wonder, how many of them really mean anything to us?
British anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist Robert Dunbar calculated the number of meaningful social relationships a person can maintain and the number, now known as ‘Dunbar’s Number’ was 150 – about 100 less than the average Facebook users friend count.
Recently, romance writer ArLynn Presser embarked on a journey to figure outexactly how many of her ‘friends’ really were friends. As she set out to meet her Facebook friends in real life, she discovered that two dozen of them would not allow her to visit. As she went on, some of her so-called friends demanded things while others she really just didn’t get along with at all. She also found herself getting deleted and blocked as tried to reach out – really reach out – to her friends.
It might sound bleak but Presser insists her journey, which she plans to use as the basis for a book, was largely a positive one. She enjoyed a meal with people she’d never met, rekindled old friendships and experienced generosity in all forms.
If you’ve racked up a few more Facebook friends than seems necessary, it might be time to start thinking about which of your Facebook friends would have you for dinner and which would slam the door…