Hooking up with your ex can be a dangerously exciting game, and we’ve all been there. The moment of truth (usually about a bottle and a half of red in) when a seemingly harmless -if flirtatious-text message conversation with the ex takes a sudden turn. Whether it a straight out proposition or simply a suggestive and well placed wink face, alarm bells ring simultaneously with and odd sense of intrigue that can start in your living room and end between their sheets.
There are many ex-factors to consider at this moment and in my experience, even the supposed perks of sleeping with an ex tend to have their pitfall counterparts. Yup, The exact reasons why I told myself ‘this is a fantastic idea’ came around to bite me in my behind.
1) There could still be something between you
There’s something re assuring about knowing that your ex is still thinking about. But as you prance about at home and hear the ever complimenting chime of your message tone or laughing with friends about how they are just ‘soooooo’ into you, is that all it really is? If there’s any kind of emotional attachment, in my experience sex before the talk only sets you up for heartache. Although, some women say sleeping with an ex can make them feel empowered and help them realise they’ve moved on. Careful evaluation on what you’re feeling and how you might feel afterward is needed.
2) The sex is the same
I equate this factor to the process of buying tanning lotion. The tan you are use to stretching your arm out for is reliable. You know how to use it, how it will rub up on you and frustrating flaws. New tans may look good in different designer packaging and smell like a Caribbean holiday, but they bring with it dangerous levels of uncertainty. Your ex may or may not smell like a Caribbean holiday, but you definitely know what you’re in for. And the pitfall, well, is as mentioned. The sex is the same. And post orgasm there may be little to keep you giggling after love making with the same routine from the past.
3) Easy Sex
Sometimes sleeping with your ex once can do one of two things. Open the flood gate for a tsunami of emotion or; create a convenient and mature agreement between two adults who are looking for some intense sexual relief say one to two times a week. This can indeed be a convenient possibility except for one small problem. If you’re seeping with your ex regularly, what’s going to make you get out there and chase more fulfilling, new relationships?
All this being said, it goes without saying the complexities of the ex factors vary from each person and each relationship. Power balance, history and the break-up mean whatever you do, you’re jumping into bed with all those politics that will always exist between you.
