Sleep deprived, irritable, sad, moody and forgetful – not quite how you imagined you’d be feeling when you were shopping for prams excitedly awaiting the arrival of your precious bundle. We are told about pregnancy and giving birth and how and when to feed but no one told us your baby or child may not sleep and the impact that may have on you. Cheryl Fingleson from The Sleep Coach shares with us how new mothers can overcome post natal depression and sleep deprivation.
Having a newborn to look after is overwhelming, exhausting, not to mention the physical labour of giving birth endured, as well as the sleepless and uncomfortable nights of pregnancy in its latter stages. Going through all these new life changing experiences – the broad spectrum of feelings and emotions you feel are an roller coaster ride that is gaining momentum, in conjunction you’re your body and hormonal changes. It’s a BIG deal. The brain and body have A LOT to cope with. But when does dealing with all this develop into post natal depression?
It is not uncommon for new mothers to go through highs and lows both mentally and physically, and, without rest our minds can deteriorate quickly. “Baby Blues” is a commonly used phrase to describe this stage, following childbirth. But PND is much more than this and goes on long after the initial period of becoming a mother, in a more intense manner. Some signs to watch for may include insomnia, lack of joy in life, unhappiness, sadness, no confidence, intense irritability, feelings of self harm, emotional overload, harming baby, loss of drive to do everyday tasks, severely negative thoughts about most things and especially about being a good parent, amongst others.
Post natal depression is no shame, it is an illness as any other illness and having these feelings are not normal and there is help out there for you. If you notice a friend is not herself, talk to her and get help.
It is key to tell someone about any of these feelings or symptoms, whether it is someone trusted, family, close to you or a healthcare provider. If you suffer any of these and speak out about it, you will quickly find out you are not alone. It is great to talk to someone who can understand your feelings, as they have travelled the same road.
Sleep or lack of, is going to be one of the major factors in contributing to and alleviating symptoms from PND. It has been scientifically proven that having much needed uninterrupted sleep – about 5 hours can be the best medicine. This is the time you need to get help from a partner, relative or friend to take over the night watch or help with the day time feeds, those hours of continuous sleep will without doubt improve your symptoms and increase functioning. Try going to sleep early everyday in a quiet, comforting, calm and dark room without a baby monitor, when you have someone managing baby’s night time waking’s. Getting this rest daily will not only help your mind, but also the health of your body, leaving you better equipped to tackle the day ahead and care for your family.
Some other tips and ideas I have to help you through PND are to rest and have a break regularly, accept or ask for help often, be social; see others and talk about various things or have an afternoon/evening out without baby and with your partner, do the best you can, this is a passing phase in your life, it is essential for you to get out at least once a day, cabin fever is ‘horrible’, avoid any other major life changes such as moving in this time.
I have a very important point to make very clear. Post natal depression does not only affect mothers but is also common for fathers.
I strongly believe that sleep management is imperative in treating those suffering from post partum depression, alongside other methods of therapy. There is no shame in having some good sleep for yourself once becoming a mother. In fact, an infant will often adopt a mothers circadian rhythms, so the more rested you are, the more baby will sleep, and the more all in the household will get to sleep and function better.
This phase too will pass.
Enjoy your precious babies treasure your moments.
