Final HSC Exams, mark’s the end of a chapter for Year 12 students. The next step may involve university life, however most students will have a sense that everything is about to change. What was once familiar to them will become new terrain. For some, this will mark an adventure whilst for others the unknown may cause concern.
Image via TheGradStudent.com
There will be many hours spent studying well into the night cramming for those exams. Levels of stress and anxiety will intensify having a ripple effect on the entire family. Hopes, dreams, failures, desires will all come into play during this peak time.
As a parent, how you support your verging young adult into this new arena, will greatly impact on how they manage their stress in general. One door of life is closing with the possibilities of other doors opening. Stress can lead into anxiety and disrupt a study pattern, diet and confidence, changing hope to failure.
Excitement and anxiety can create similar sensations in the body. How our thoughts and emotions follow this direction, can occur in two very different ways. One is of pleasure whilst the other spirals us into fight-flight or freeze mode. It can happen in an instant, the rush of adrenalin and cortisol surging through the body. The key is how we manage it and learning methods and techniques that guide into a more effective state.
A simple technique that I teach my clients, are how to create a calm state within the body, the mind and emotions through anchoring. This is an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) technique where the body (muscle or point in the body) remembers an emotional, mental and physical state. By creating a calming ritual within the body, we simply press a point on the body whilst imagining and experiencing it. Each time you press on this particular point again, it will release this response for you feel, sense and think calmly (and it may be that you don’t think). Creating a new pattern response that you can use at your own discretion.
TRY THESE TWO ‘SIMPLE CALMING TECHNIQUES’:
Anchoring a calm relaxed state for you or your children
1. Think of something that makes you feel calm and relaxed. For a lot of my clients:
Imagining themselves by the ocean, feeling the sand between their toes and hearing the waves roll in and out from the shore instantly calms them down.
Whilst for others, it’s imagining yourself in amongst trees, feeling the grass beneath you, hearing the birds amongst the branches with the sun shining down on you is what will relax them.
Whatever works for you, just imagine this in your mind. Your body will start to soften and relax while your emotions will find an even keel, a feeling of calmness.
As you’re imagining this, I would like you to press your thumb and forefinger on one hand together (for about 30 – 60 seconds). Keep a slight pressure occurring as you imagine your relaxed state, and just before you take that big, deep breath, release your finger and thumb.
Now shake your hands and take another deep breath. Come back fully into your body. Press the same thumb and finger together and observe your body and emotions. We have anchored this state between your thumb and finger. Every time you press them together, it triggers the body into a relaxed state. Leads the emotions into calmness and centres your mind.
Practice pressing your thumb and forefinger a couple of times and just experience this state. The more you do this, the stronger the anchor and once anchored and set, it’s at your disposal.
Collapsing a negative emotion with your calm state anchor
2. Once you feel this anchor is working for you and your enjoying it, it’s time to take it one step further. For your children, tell them think about the HSC exams, see the exam paper in front of them. They’re in the chair and all their fellow students are there with them. Their exam teacher is about to tell them to start, and they can feel the emotion start to swell up inside them. Now tell them to press their thumb and forefinger together and breathe. Let this anchor collapse the stressful situation and create a neutral state, a calmer state.
Practice this often whenever they feel stressed about their exam, their studies and/or even talking about their exams. No one will know they’re using their anchor and it’s their secret weapon and yours too (for different reasons) on managing a stressful situation into a more manageable state, a relaxed state.
This method can be used over and over again to create new patterns. As we know, life is about constant change and adapting to different chapters in our lives. By anchoring a positive state within the body, we can shift a pattern from stress and anxiety to represent adventure and choices, building more confidence in what may appear to be unfamiliar as another door opens.
