So you or your significant bedroom other has moved overseas, is taking a prolonged trip, and is just generally not in the same city/country.
Which is great – independence! But how do you keep the sex as excellent as it would be if you shared a postcode?
RESCU’s here to help.
Here are our top tips for sizzling long-distance sex – and all you’ll need is an internet connection and a webcam…
1. Use your writing skills.
Leaving letters for a loved one when they go away is always a good way to remind them of your existence.
Make things steamy by making some of those letters X-rated.
Say things you might not say to their face, be explicit and risque, detail exactly what you like them doing and what you’ll do to them on return.
Stuck for inspiration? Look for famous erotic poetry (John Donne’s is wickedly good, and Everyman have a great edition of collected poems) and quote liberally. Remember to cite your sources, though, or your partner will think you’ve suddenly become the Shakespeare of sex.
2. Experiment visually.
The problem with sexy photos is that, time and time again, women send them to people who don’t deserve or shouldn’t possess them.
If you really do think your partner is to be trusted, send away – but always delete afterwards, and don’t let your face be seen.
By far the best product ever invented for foreign-based partners was the webcam.
Now is the time to invest in one, and in some lingerie if you’re that kind of girl. Hiding things, taking them off or putting them on seductively, is all part of the performance.
Schedule a private date, where either one or both of you is naked, and pleasure yourselves simultaneously.
3. Be unexpected (but play fair).
The key to this trick is getting the time zone right.
Making your partner’s toes curl with a quick sexy text is not a new trick, but sending one overseas where they have no chance to satisfy their urges is a unique kind of wickedness.
Drop them a line in the middle of their day, or perhaps closer to bed, letting them know something you’re doing, what you’d like them to do – anything that might turn them on.
Don’t interrupt them while they’re doing important things, though, or you might incur their highly aroused wrath.
Also, time zones – no, really, check them again. There’s nothing like a sexy text at 3am to temporarily cool the ardour between couples.
4. Don’t get paranoid that they’re getting their pleasures somewhere else.
This is more of a relationship problem than a sexual one, but don’t get wildly over-ambitious in your sexy texts/videos/emails out of fear that you need to ‘keep them interested’ or they’ll stray.
If you’re being sexy from paranoia rather than out of a genuine enjoyment of it and the connection, it’ll show, and be strained and odd. Just relax – and be comfortable with what you’re doing.
Allow them to suggest things, too – but don’t do anything you’ve always disliked just because they’re overseas and lonely!
5. Try new things which fit the circumstances.
Look for sex toys which can be used so that your partner will enjoy the sight, even if they can’t join in.
Also, if there’s anything which is simply inconvenient when you’re together – coming to bed with a wet T-shirt on, or any such trick – you can try it on your own, and send them the evidence. They won’t get dripped on, and you can clean up quickly.
Share intimate material which allows you to be connected – watch XXX films at the same time in different countries, email him erotic cartoons, ask for long-distance advice about underwear purchases.
It may not be the same as having them physically there pleasuring you, and there’s only so much sex toys can replace the feel of skin, but long-distance lovers don’t have to feel unsatisfied.
Lady Friday xx
Taking pillow talk out of the bedroom, every Friday…
