We all know one. Hell, most of us have dated one. But Lady Friday doesn’t want us sleeping with one- and she tells us why.
He’s the guy who doesn’t have enough financial stability for cab fare at age 29. The guy who still hangs out with a skateboarding, mid-20s cool crowd because the more mature groups ‘just aren’t his scene’. The guy who doesn’t see what’s wrong with sponging off his parents past 18.
It’s called the Peter Pan syndrome, and it shows no sign of going away.
Men who willingly wish to be younger haven’t really come around recently. It’s just that society has become a lot more accepting of the slacking, irresponsible, eternally-young type of male. He’s pretty much the anti-alpha.
Ben Gibbard, who runs the snide (and NSFW) website Look At This F***ing Hipster, ties the hipster phenomenon to the whole concept; he believes that as it’s become acceptable for people to stay forever young and hip without steady employment, so they lose any incentive to grow up – even long past the use-by date for concept haircuts and the latest sneakers.
Affairs with man-babies tend to evolve the same sorts of complaints. They never remember dates, birthdays, things of importance, or priorities; they’re selfish; they find responsibility stifling; they have very ill-evolved and childish emotional responses; and, poisonously, they often simply don’t understand the concept of commitment. Jesse James (pictured) is probably one.
So what’s a sex columnist doing writing about man-babies? Because of an observation – a quick red flag, if you will. Man-babies – and this is a pretty universal rule – want to hop in the sack. Immediately. They don’t have any brakes; they come on so strongly, both romantically and sexually, that they’re almost off-putting. No impulse control will do that to you.
And often it will seem damn tempting to go along with the sack-hopping. I mean, they have a youthful sense of fun, it can be no-strings, they probably dress well and seem adventurous, and you won’t have to cope with their lack of ability to cope with relationships. Nothing wrong with that. Right?
Wrong. Unless you want to relive your teenage sexual misadventures, with more technical experience but just as much emotional immaturity, delicate egos, and sulking. In which case, go right ahead.
Readers of this column will know I’m a fan of sex-only relationships if it suits both parties, but the big mistake many women make is to believe that a man who’s emotionally unsuitable for a relationship will do just fine as a bed-buddy. Categorical error, ladies. Man-babies can be cute, sure, but just like the man with eight marriages and emotional baggage coming out of his ears, they’re no-go zones, even just for sex. Bedroom-only partnerships take a certain degree of tact, understanding and maturity, and believe me, no man-baby knows what those words even mean.
Unless you have the patience of Gandhi – beware.
Lady Friday xx
Taking pillow talk out of the bedroom every Friday…
