Got yourself a new (and adventurous) mate, or just reached a missionary rut in the bedroom? Let Lady Friday guide you into new erotic territory.
Let’s make one thing clear. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with plain, boring, vanilla, missionary with a bit of foreplay, easy sex, as long as it gets you where you want to go. I’m not one to knock Old Faithful.
If, however, the situation demands a bit more inventiveness and you’re at a loss for ideas – start taking notes.
Not looking for anything too out-there, but want some new sensual experiences? Try props. Pillows added to conventional positions – under your hips in missionary, under his when you’re on top – change the angle and thus the intensity of the experience. Wear a corset, suspenders or a pair of heels to bed, and incorporate them into your routine.
A classic trick for couples needing to enliven their dead bed is tying up your partner – gently (please practise beforehand), and with a soft material such as a tie or a piece of silk – and teasing them, while making them explain what they’d do if untied. Blindfold them if you feel like it. The light restraint and denial of pleasure means that when they’re released, old positions will have new fire.
Still not satisfied?
Situation has a very primal affect on sex. Bend over a table, your car hood in the garage, or the kitchen counter, find an office chair, press yourself against the wall, start something forbidden in a little-known corner of a public place. Don’t get arrested – just think outside the naked-in-the-bedroom square, and act out your fantasies.
Otherwise, human bodies are amazingly limber things. If you’re feeling particularly flexible, try the hilariously named ‘full mast’, or raise your legs to his shoulders while sitting on a hard surface. An alternative to this second position? Lie on your back and raise your legs like before, but this time keep your thighs very tightly together. Make sure your back’s supported and you’re away.
Many women I know find it difficult not to look at their partner’s face or feel some contact with their upper body during sex – but if you let go of that need for immediate intimacy, you can release yourself more. Lying on your backs and interlocking like a pair of hands (Cosmo has a variation on this where the man leans forward) may feel more alienating, but you can hold hands, stroke one another, or wrap your legs around one another so that you feel connected.
Another, more intimate variation is called the T-Square position. The woman lies on her back with her legs raised, and the man on his side at a 90-degree angle to her, so that her legs fold over his hips and down behind him. You can look at one another, touch and play – and your legs over his body mean that you can pull him in for maximum penetration.
Willing to experience some counter-intuitive loving? Prepare to be elevated. Spice up your missionary by having your partner lift your lower body entirely off the bed while he kneels. The ‘Amazing Butterfly’ position (seriously, I don’t know who names these things) involves the truly porn-star move of keeping your head on the bed and your back and butt elevated far into the air, with your partner standing. Safety first, ladies – keep your neck and shoulders well-supported. No need to suffer in the name of orgasms.
And of course, if you’re still sexually unfulfilled and looking for new tips, there’s always the Karma Sutra.
Lady Friday xx
Image credit: monstersandcritics.com
