Whether it’s the Berlin Philharmonic, a grungy jazz show or a mosh pit, Miss Manners can solve all your etiquette dilemmas.
The days of opera-glasses may be over, but there are still rules for a night out in an audience.
Formal night out? First off, check your dress code. The rule with theatre is always to overdress rather than under-dress. The Sydney Opera House, opening nights, and evening performances of plays or classical concerts require considerable polish, from black tie to cocktail to updated business-wear.
(A note: don’t overly tease your hair or wear anything that could obscure a view.)
Matinees and bands who aren’t wearing black tie themselves demand less panache. You can wear jeans, but no bikinis under cover-ups, flip-flops, or shorts on men, and don’t be an idiot and wear sunglasses inside.
If it’s your first outing into the wonderful world of a full-on performance, here are the rules. Don’t clap between movements in a classical piece – it’s rude. The same generally goes for ballet, unless the individual dance was particularly spectacular.
In opera and stage performances, it’s only permitted to clap at the interval and at the very end. I don’t care how good a particular soliloquy is – keep your hands to yourself. The performers will ask you to applaud the tech crew and the orchestra; do so generously.
Generally speaking you can’t take wine glasses into the auditorium, so save it for the interval, of which there should be at least one (get a program if you’re not sure). If there are subtitles, they’ll be scrolled above.
Never heckle, gossip or commentate. Turn off your mobile phone, and if you’re ill (and liable to cough or sneeze) be prepared – take tissues, cough drops, medication, whatever.
Waiting for an autograph is flattering, but don’t try to push your way into the backstage area, and don’t jeer or make annoyed comments if the singers or musicians don’t wait for you.
In less formal venues you’ve still got to be respectful. Chatting while a band’s playing in a bar or pub is OK, but don’t disturb anybody else by yelling to be heard. Also be careful while dancing – unless you’re at a hard metal show and people actively want you to step on their feet, watch it.
Moshing it? Wear closed shoes. Secure your phone and valuables – nobody wants to be liable for wrecking your stuff just because you weren’t wise. If anybody around you seems in distress, help.
Push to the front if you absolutely must, but be aware that you’ll earn a lot of enmity and probably a few elbows to the ribs on the way. Don’t use your camera too much – flashes disturb people, and your arms will probably interrupt a few views.
One last thing: mosh pits get hot and heavy. As much as possible, deodorise beforehand.
Yours sincerely,
Miss Manners
Image from Aurelio Costarella’s RAFW show. Click here to read our fashion report.