It’s sale time, where perfectly normal, polite women turn into clawing, howling herds of wildebeest. Want to avoid a stampede? Trying to return an item without getting turfed out on your behind? Miss Manners has the etiquette for all your shopping outings.
First of all, assistants are not slaves, and you are not Cleopatra. They are there to serve you, but they can’t magically make something appear out of thin air or do the impossible, so don’t expect it.
If you’re just browsing, dismiss offers of help with a polite ‘I’m just browsing, thank you’ and a smile. Ignoring them, putting on an arch smile, or attempting to hide a coat rack are not acceptable alternatives.
If you DO need help, be as specific as possible. Saying ‘I’d like a red court shoe in a size 39 with an ankle strap’ is much easier for all concerned than ‘Um, something reddish’. If they say they don’t have anything fitting that description, thank them graciously and leave.
It’s considered perfectly good etiquette to reject a shop assistant’s suggestion, whether it’s an eye shadow or a gown. However, you are not four, so do not turn up your nose or say ‘Urgh’. Say it’s not quite what you’re looking for, or that you want something slightly darker/lighter/shorter/etcetera.
That said, excess specificity may drive your shop assistant completely mad. Rejecting eighteen jumpers because they aren’t the precise shade of mauve you’d imagined will not win you any prizes, and will probably cause the person a nervous break. Either be flexible or walk away.
Being chatty with shop assistants is good manners – they have long hours on their feet, and the human contact can be the best part of the job. You may get an inside voice on when the sales are, or what’s most popular this season. However, don’t monopolise them, be overly personal or (for god’s sake) ask them out.
Sampling the wares of the cosmetics counter testers in department stores before you go out, without the intention of paying for any of it, is considered the height of crassness. Perfume is far less offensive.
The practice of going into high-end luxury stores like Chanel and pretending to be a Saudi princess or a French heiress, making demands and trying on everything, is in very poor taste. Generally speaking shop assistants in these places don’t mind if you’re not a millionaire, as long as you’re respectful to their wares and cause no trouble. Don’t waste their time, and don’t decry them for acting snobbishly; that’s part of the brand image.
In a sale, rules change, but not entirely. You still need to conduct yourself like a woman of grace and integrity. This does NOT mean engaging in tug-of-wars over the last Kate Moss For Topshop dress with some other woman. It’s a dress. Let it go.
Always obey the rules of the change-rooms, don’t natter on your phone while paying for anything, and never comment on the choices of other customers, unless you want to pay them a compliment.
Need to make a complaint? No need to get nasty. Always have all the evidence you need on your person – receipts, damaged goods, loose buttons, everything. Be polite rather than aggressive – you and the store need to work together to fix the mess, and you’re more likely to get money back or a replacement if you’re firm without attitude.
Never terrorise, and always ask to speak to the manager, since workers on the shop floor generally don’t have authority over complaints. If they try to put you off, say, politely, that you’ll wait, or lodge a written complaint if it’s more convenient.
Know your rights as a customer, and read the receipt carefully for returns policy before you march in. And don’t even try to return things that have evidently been worn and stained – you’re wasting everybody’s time and won’t look like the brightest bulb in the box.
Other big Don’ts? Attempting to haggle anywhere except in a street market. Insisting that an item you saw last week, month or year must still be there. Decrying an item’s cut, composition or look in front of a salesperson. Insulting anybody’s professionalism. Putting sticky hands on merchandise.
With these tips in hand, sales should be a breeze.
Yours sincerely,
Miss Manners
