This week, Miss Manners takes to the friendly skies for a little set of lessons on in-flight etiquette. Consider it another safety demonstration.
Travelling the world from Australia involves an awful lot of long-haul flights. Luckily, plane etiquette is fairly straightforward. Be clean, be polite, and be considerate. Not so difficult, is it?
Here are RESCU’s top tips for stylish flight etiquette.
• Always be polite to your stewards. If the flight’s been delayed or there’s turbulence, it isn’t their fault, so don’t take it out on them. And avoid pressing the ‘summon’ button if possible unless it’s an absolute emergency. They are not butlers.
• You’re in a confined space, so if you’re going to take your shoes off, please do a check to make sure you’re not capable of killing a medium-sized plant with your foot odour.
• You’re allowed to block the aisle while you put your bags in and out of your locker or help a child or elderly person. Otherwise, move out of the way.
• If you’re not in an aisle seat, go to the bathroom as few times as possible, and always apologise profusely on your way in and out. If you need to let somebody through, get up rather than letting them clamber.
• Don’t glare at parents struggling to keep babies quiet. They have enough to deal with.
• Be friendly to your seat neighbour, but respect their personal space. Sleeping on their shoulder or lap is a poor idea unless you’ve suddenly fallen in love with one another, which does not happen outside of poorly scripted movies.
• Only monopolise the attention and care of the stewards if you are generally experiencing a problem. They don’t generally want to chat.
• Stealing somebody else’s blankets, pillows, foot space or headphones is impolite. It’s also kind of mean.
• If your neighbours want to sleep and you want to read, keep your loud page-turning and giggling to a minimum. If it’s the other way around, take a sleeping mask, and only ask for some darkness if you really can’t doze off.
• Don’t chuckle at a film or act disruptively while people are trying to sleep.
• Use the bathroom for all make-up application, clothes-changing, hygiene and anything else fellow passengers don’t need to see. That includes the mile-high club – but only do that at night, very quietly, and with the minimum of fuss or inconvenience to other bathroom-users.
• Don’t get drunk. Smelly, loud, difficult-to-handle, irrational or vomit-prone people are rarely welcome in any group establishment that isn’t a pub. You’ll get a poor reputation and a wicked hangover.
Yours sincerely,
Miss Manners
