Somethings are unavoidable – but otherwise, here are RESCU’s top tips to bust the nasties which are crushing your libido.
The Culprit: Stress
One of the most immediate signs that you’re in the middle of a pressure cooker? Your libido evaporates.
Obviously stress needs to be handled properly rather than just to make you feel frisky again – and a little bit can be good for you.
But don’t feel as if you lack control over your sexual drive. You don’t. Libido is just a physical thing, and shouldn’t be added to the factors stressing you out. That wouldn’t help in the slightest.
Try to make personal time in the midst of your hell on earth, for meditation and (possibly) masturbation. Hey, orgasms cure a lot of ills!
The Culprit: Exhaustion
‘Hey’, you might think accusingly, ‘I’ve had 36-hour sex marathons before! I can power through days and still have energy for a roll in the hay!’
Good for you – but the fact remains that your sexual drive depends deeply on your diet and your health, which requires a great deal of good sleep.
This might seem counterproductive – go to bed to sleep so you can go to bed to stay awake and get frisky? – but it’s worth it.
Notice your exhaustion before it catches up with you, and eat healthy foods/plan relaxing activities to help stimulate that flagging libido.
The Culprit: Apathy
This is the partnered woman’s curse. You’ve been together for so long that sex seems more like a chore than a fun idea.
And when you start thinking like that, it’s no wonder you suddenly lack an appetite.
The key here is mental, rather than physical. Talk about it with your partner – chances are they’ll leap at the chance to reinvigorate your sex life together – and make plans to revisit your sexier days.
Apathy can’t be cured with just a few new toys and a burst of enthusiasm. It’s a commitment and a mental attitude which requires shifting.
If you no longer find your partner attractive, that’s a different issue – and beyond the purview of this column.
The Culprit: Depression
Women are particularly prone to the serious blues, and a decreased interest in sex is often the first sign.
Depression often feeds off feelings of failure, so don’t convince yourself that there’s something wrong with you for not wanting sex. If you’re exhibiting symptoms of depression, the first stop is the doctor, not beating your head against the wall.
Handled properly, this is just a blip in your sexual health – and you can emerge healthier than ever.
The Culprit: Body Woes
Don’t want to have sex because you gained 5 kilos and now you think your midsection wobbles alarmingly in certain positions?
The first thing to remember here is that partners don’t care. Seriously. Their reassurance is not just false endearment – human beings are very good at embracing all the aspects of their sexual partners, even the bits that aren’t conventionally Gisele-skinny.
Exercise, or wear body-conscious lingerie to bed – but the first step is in your head.
Get your confidence back with a new dress, a good long look in the mirror or whatever turns you on.
Lady Friday xx
Image via pinterest.com
