With Spring upon us, many Australians will be spending time cleaning out their house and discarding unwanted clutter, and this is the perfect time for singles to do the same with their love life. Dr Gian Gonzaga, eHarmony.com.au relationship expert and Director of Research and Development at eHarmony Labs, has provided 4 tips for people looking for a fresh start to their love life.
1. Get over it
Before throwing yourself into your dating future, it’s essential that you’ve gotten over your dating past. Perhaps you simply had a bad breakup, the type where your anger for the person ultimately spilled out to an entire gender.
However your heart got broken, you need to have made peace with it before successfully getting back in the game. So, if you’ve stopped blaming the world and now realise that one individual doesn’t represent all of humankind, you’re ready to try again.
2. Get rid of baggage
Simply put, baggage is a collection of unpleasant memories from the past that continue to negatively affect our perception of and behavior in the here and now.
The good news is that you can let your baggage go, whether big or small, and welcome a new perspective into your life. Once baggage has been unloaded, current relationships and those yet on the horizon are freed from the past and you can truly discover and enjoy real intimacy.
3. Be clear and realistic about what you want
The most successful daters are those who not only know exactly what they want, but are realistic about themselves and what they’re looking for. Make a list of the qualities and traits you’re looking for in your perfect partner. Then look at that list and ask yourself how realistic it is.
For example, is finding someone who makes great money more important than finding someone who lives within his means? Or if you think you want to meet someone who’s highly educated with multiple degrees, is that as important as finding someone with one degree, but amazing life experiences that have helped shape and educate her? Make your list, and as you continue dating, tweak it to make it as clear and realistic as possible.
4. Clean house
How are you supposed to have a clean start with old reminders still hanging around? Purge old pictures and mementos that remind you of the former flame. Just getting the bits and pieces out of plain view will do the trick.
Better yet, transform your surroundings. Moving always helps, but if you aren’t making a geographical shift in scenery, revamp what you already have. Change your furniture around, get some new accessories to give your home a fresh start and try some new art on the wall to replace the photo of your vacation together last year.
Ridding your environment of tangible items may help to clear your mind too, helping you to clarify what you’re really looking for – after all, a tidy house means a tidy mind.
About Dr Gian Gonzaga, PhD
Dr Gonzaga is the senior research scientist and director of Research and Development at eHarmony Labs, the California-based research centre set up to investigate and understand what makes relationships successful.
To start your online dating journey, go to www.eharmony.com.au
Other Rescu. articles you may be interested in:
1. Perfect match: receive expert tips on how to create an eye-catching online dating profile
2. A beginner’s guide to video speed dating with 9 top tips from Skype experts
3. Dating expert Samantha Brett shares her sexy single girl’s guide to finding love and breaking the single cycle
