By JT
A friend of mine, let’s call her Clementine, declared her goal at a party was to wrangle herself between the boy she’d been seeing and a girl she had a fling with.
Why? Well, partly to experiment and because she considered it a challenge, but mostly because she thought they were both great in bed. “But how will we spoon afterwards?” seemed to be her only unanswered question. Surely, that’s got to be the easy part?!!
Participants in threesomes I’ve known say it can be either a great sexual triumph, or a nervous and ego-degrading failure. After all, life isn’t a porn movie, and the bedroom has always been a place of vulnerability.
Here are ten ways to maximise a threesome experience:
- If you have the chance, talk. Be honest about the situation, your expectations, fears, comfort levels and boundaries with the other people involved. Above all, be completely honest with yourself about how far you’re willing to go and don’t give in to peer pressure.
- If you’re in a relationship and your partner introduces the topic, give it serious thought. How do you feel about the idea? Are you sure you won’t get jealous, or feel like you have to compete with the other participant for attention?
- Who’s going to be ‘the third wheel’? A trusted friend, a stranger, or somebody in between? There are advantages and disadvantages to each. Being the single person invited to join a threesome by either a couple or two other singles, is the easier role.
- It’s better to leave a partner’s fantasy unfulfilled than let it damage the relationship or your confidence.
- Come armed with a few ideas; extra limbs and torsos can be confusing if you don’t know what to do with them. Research possible positions if necessary. Don’t be afraid to direct and give orders.
- Feeling left out is a big complaint in threesomes. Try to maintain a focus on both parties, and if you feel left out, pull out the red card.
- Double penetration should not be something you commit to without having first explored your enjoyment of ‘rear action’ on its own.
- Take care of one another. Don’t go into a threesome with the intent of overshadowing another member in terms of performance.
- Be careful. One particularly bad story involved a woman giving her boyfriend a black eye with a misplaced knee.
- If one of the other participants decides they’re uncomfortable and stops, it’s your decision as to whether you continue or not. At the very least, it’s a good idea to make sure they’re okay.
