By Jennifer Thorp
Whether you’re eloping by yourselves to India or planning a 300-person extravaganza, many wedding days have the same potential for disasters. Here, from brides who’ve been through it (and make-up expert Bobbi Brown), are the top ten mistakes to avoid at your nuptials. (Image: Kate Moss’s wedding, courtesy Vogue.)
1. Forgetting to eat.
Big wedding days in particular are very, very long. Hair and make-up, photos, the ceremony, the celebrations – the day is full, and there will be many people demanding your time and attention. Make sure you get to actually eat properly, even if it’s on the run – and no, smashing cakes into faces doesn’t count! A friend or attendant can keep an eye on your food intake for you.
Top tip: Pack a care package for yourself to tuck into in the hours before the ceremony, to keep your blood sugar up. Include dried fruits, sweets and other little things.
2. Not planning for disasters.
Things go wrong. Shoes bust or feet develop blisters. Dresses rip or stain. Rain happens unexpectedly. The key to getting through is accepting this, and having materials on hand to help. Things aren’t going to be 100% perfect, but that’s part of what makes it special (and hilarious).
Top tip: An emergency kit, with sewing kit, painkillers, bandaids, spare underwear and other necessities, is a useful little accompaniment to your day.
3. Not telling people ‘the plan.’
Got a schedule? Great! Make sure people know it (without making them want to kill you because you’ve told them so many times). Guests and brides-people will enjoy knowing where to be when, and if you’ve got a complicated schedule a program might come in handy – or a town crier. Vendors, however, need to know ahead of time.
Top tip: Tell all vendors your plans in writing. That way they can refer to the documents rather than having to ask a busy bridal party for guidance. (Image: Princess Diana’s wedding, courtesy Vogue.)
4. Not delegating.
Even if you’re having the minimum wedding possible – yourselves and an officiant – you still can’t do everything yourself. For bigger affairs, letting go of controlling every aspect is crucial if you’re not going to snap and be put in a straitjacket. Those don’t look so good in bridal white.
Top tip: Delegate in ways that make people feel they’re contributing and appreciated, rather than your little bridal slave-elves.
5. Expecting the wedding night sex to be spectacular.
You are having an extremely emotional and often very physically exhausting day. Expecting to get back to your room together, rip off one another’s (probably complicated) clothes and have genuinely mind-blowing sex is possibly expecting a little too much. Many couples don’t even make it out of their bridal bits and pieces before collapsing and snoring, so no pressure.
Top tip: Fussy lingerie is not your friend under complicated dresses. Pick whatever suits the line of your outfit and makes you comfortable.
6. Not pre-checking important stuff.
Take a hint from major event planners: pre-testing the bits you care about will make your event run far smoother. If it’s crucial that your make-up is Lara Stone-esque, have a test; if you really want the flowers to be great, do a trial run with the florist; have tastings for food, and so on. It’ll help your vendor know what to do and you’ll get just what you’re expecting.
Expert tip: Bobbi Brown, beauty expert and founder of Bobbi Brown beauty, shared her top tip for wedding day make-up: “My biggest tip for wedding day beauty is to stay away from anything trendy, because trends come and go.” (Image: Vogue’s Royal Wedding issue 2012.)
7. Not spending time with your partner.
Make sure you set aside some time to actually sit with your partner, calm down, chill out and reconnect. Days like weddings can be very overwhelming and disconnect you from each other, and enjoying them together is important.
Top tip: Build this into the programme and tell people to stand guard so you won’t be disturbed. No photographers allowed, either.
8. Expecting complete social cohesion.
If you’ve invited Great Aunt Flossie, who breeds prize poodles and favours rose print, alongside your friends from your punk band at uni, don’t expect them to be great friends immediately and swap baking recipes. People will stick to their own groups – the best you can hope for is good behaviour and a lack of drama.
Top tip: Inviting exes is often not a great idea, regardless of the ha-ha revenge factor.
9. Not being clear with photographers and/or videographers.
Hired somebody whose work you love? Great! Tell them what you liked about it, and how you want them to act and capture moments. This is seriously important if you have a specific aesthetic in mind.
Top tip: Get photographs with people you see rarely and others who might not be long for this world. Not recording moments with them will be a regret later. (Image: Natalia Vodianova, courtesy Vogue.)
10. Forgetting to breathe.
At certain points, shake yourself, realise you’re getting married, and let that sink in. So many couples go through weddings without ever slowing down that all their memories are a blur. Try to preserve at least a few moments for yourself.
Top tip: Try some meditation techniques to help calm your mind – they’re a godsend for many a bride in a tight stressful spot.
