So he’s not telling you what he wants in bed? No fear, Lady Friday dishes up how you can deliver on all his fantasies in the bedroom. (Awkward conversations not required).
Saying “men aren’t great communicators” is an understatement along the lines of “rugby players may have a few issues with the law”. It’s a wonder the two genders ever manage to understand one another at all without the use of UN translators.
Chances are, then, it’s unlikely your dearly beloved will ever say, “Apple of my eye, I wish you to touch [this part of me] using your [part of your body] in a circular back-and-forth motion, and I also greatly appreciate it when you [insert complicated bodily manoeuvre here]”. If he does, of course, you’re a blessed woman.
If you aren’t graced with a partner with the eloquence of Barack Obama (lucky Michelle), here’s a guide to what men often appreciate, but find difficult to verbalise – or, in other words, what his body wants, but he’s unlikely to express using diagrams and a four-point plan.
Making the first move
Depends on your situation of course, but there’s a reason why a lot of erotica involves delighted men being unexpectedly thrown against the wall by insatiable women. Go in for the kill.
Finding his secret erogenous zones
The inner thigh, the lobe of the ear, the stomach muscles, the small of the back, the shoulders – men are just as nerve-packed as women, and there’s no reason why they shouldn’t have their whole bodies attended to. Besides a bit of exploration can be fun.
Spontaneity
Particularly if you’ve been in the nine-to-five, sex-after-brushing-teeth-but-before-Rove groove for a while, a little surprise now and then livens everything up. You’re a sexual animal all the time, not just when you’re in bed, and so is he. Grab five minutes at an unexpected venue or time, present a new toy (feeling kinky? Go to www.maxxxblack.com), try a new position on him, or book a hotel unexpectedly. Men like to be romanced just as much as we do, so go ahead and rock his world.
Role-playing
Sexy little fantasies aren’t solely the domain of us girls. You’ve got to be careful here, though – the ‘sexy nurse’ or ‘secretary’ games can come across as awkward and cheesy unless you’re both in the right mind frame. (Check also that he doesn’t have any hideous phobias of nurses due to polio injections as a boy, before you proceed!)
Taking control
Positions involving the woman directing the action – and also doing a lot of the work – is a man’s dream. After all, lazy sex, where they don’t really have to do much at all except watch you and your moves, is a classic male fantasy. Climb on top every now and again and dominate; or give without expecting to receive.
Rescu. recommends these books and websites for more tips and tricks:
10 Sex Cravings All Guys Have, by Jennifer Benjamin
Role Playing For Beginners, by David Stronvy
Men In Love: Men’s Sexual Fantasies, by famous erotica writer Nancy Friday. Available at: www.amazon.com
