As told to Rachel Sharp
The Melbourne-based mother of three and global expert on feminism, gender equality and women’s rights, 2, believes femininity and feminism can co-exist.
I absolutely believe I can be both feminine and feminist. I was sold the old-school, false white Western narrative of feminism when I was doing my first degree — that you have to look and act a certain way to be a good feminist — but luckily, thinking has evolved since then. Today, feminism is ultimately just about freedom. It’s about creating a society where both genders have the freedom to be our true selves and have equal access to resources, opportunities and rights. So that should mean that we can live our truest lives however that looks. In my case, I’ve always loved fashion and makeup and art and beauty.
On the one hand, I like ageing in the sense that I feel more myself than I did when I was 20. I feel wiser, I’m living a life I absolutely love, I’ve found my purpose, and I’d never want to go back, which I absolutely celebrate. But at the same time, I totally see the way society celebrates youth, and I can’t deny there have been moments I’ve thought, ‘Oh my god, there’s a wrinkle or a grey hair,’ and lamented it. After having children, your body changes dramatically and sometimes that’s hard to reconcile. But when those feelings come, I try to be kind to myself and not beat myself up.
Before I got married, I had regular facials and microdermabrasion, and that’s definitely when my skin was at its best. Now, [because] I’m busy, I’ll do a face scrub and mask at home. I have quite dry skin, so I like anything rich and moisturising and relatively natural. Even though I have a dark complexion, sunscreen is very important. Otherwise, I get hyperpigmentation. Last year, I started using a SkinCeuticals Custom Dose product, which was created bespoke by an expert to perfectly suit my skin and dark spots were one of the things we focused on.
Today, feminism is ultimately just about freedom. I’ve always loved fashion and makeup and beauty, and I feel free to enjoy them
You can have the best skincare in the world, but if you don’t have enough sleep, you’ll never look great. Eight hours of sleep, plus meditating, doing yoga and eating well — that wholistic health realm — is what works best for me. My mum’s Australian, but my father is from the Maldives and all my family on that side is still there. I’m lucky I’ve got great genes when it comes to ageing: props to my grandmother, who had flawless skin at 105.
I’ve meditated for 30 years. It’s just something I grew up with. My dad meditated long before it was cool, and it’s always been a regular part of my life. I’ve done all types, but the one I focus on most is transcendental meditation. I used to be very into Ashtanga yoga, which I miss a lot, but now I have kids, I don’t have two hours a day for exercise. Now it’s more ad-hoc, but [yoga] is my absolute go-to to look and feel great.
Before I got married, I had regular facials and microdermabrasion and that’s definitely when my skin was at its best
Authenticity and purpose are what I think give us an ageless beauty. A great example is Oprah Winfrey — she’s more beautiful the older she gets. People who live their passion and embody deep authenticity and purpose seem ageless to me because I think that’s ultimately what beauty is. You can see and feel it radiating through them, and that’s ageless and beautiful.
I run a feminist organisation, so it’s only right we focus on a healthy work-life balance. One of the never-ending challenges is working out how to prioritise self-care and collective care for our staff, making sure they’re not overworking and have balance. I’m slowly getting better at having that balance myself, but I’m in a slightly unique situation in that I’m divorced, so I share custody of our three kids — twins aged seven and a 10-year-old — with my ex-husband, so my routine kind of evolves over time.
When it comes to cosmetic surgery, I think people should feel empowered to make their own decision about their face and body
When it comes to cosmetic surgery, I think people should feel empowered to make their own decision about their face and body… [just as long as] it’s driven by their own internal compass, not by advertising or societal expectation.
I think there has been a big improvement in how beauty is presented in advertising and mainstream culture, but it’s also about bloody time. Beauty is a fascinating industry. It can be empowering and celebratory, and at the same time, it can also be oppressive. Since the Black Lives Matter [protests in 2020] in particular, we’ve seen companies realise they need to do better in terms of advertising and their organisational policies. There’s more representation of gender diversity, racial diversity, and different able-bodied people, even different sizes and shapes. It’s still got a long way to go, and there’s still a focus on that ‘traditionally beautiful’ template, but we should take it as a win that some things are changing.
Dr Emma Fulu is the founder and CEO of the Equality Institute, a global feminist agency working to advance gender equality and end violence against women and girls. Visit equalityinstitute.org.
WHAT EMMA SWEARS BY
1. Transcendental meditation and Ashtanga yoga to help you look and feel ageless.
2. Being kind to yourself on days you don’t feel your beautiful best.
3. Consider a professionally made bespoke facial product. Emma loves SkinCeuticals Custom Dose.
4. Knowing it’s your choice and your right, whatever your gender, to embrace any beauty choice that makes you feel authentic and free.
