Are you camera shy? A new study by Dove suggests that you’re not alone. 65% of women say having their photo taken/uploaded makes them more anxious about their looks than if they were speaking in public (47%), going on a first date (44%) or even going on a job interview (41%). We’re so stressed about the way that we appear in photos that 63% of us have even destroyed photos of ourselves that we disliked.
Even on those special occasions that we’d like to treasure forever many of us aren’t taking snaps. Nearly 1 out of 3 women have stopped photos being taken or later destroyed photos of a beach holiday, a significant party with friends/family and even their own graduations.
We spoke to Dove ambassador and self-esteem expert Jess Weiner about why women have become so self-conscious.
RESCU: When do women develop their self-concept particularly around their appearance and their bodies?
Jess Weiner: We typically see girls begin to identify with their appearance or body image around ages 8 and 9 – right before puberty. Usually that is because there are great changes happening in their bodies. But girls as young as 5 or 6 can have an awareness about their appearance, influenced in part by peers at school, media messaging and of course, their parents relationship to their appearance. Girls are incredibly impressionable – adopting a similar tone and attitude around body image as they will see emulated by their mothers.
RESCU: Who are the most influential role models to young women?
Jess Weiner: First and foremost it’s people they are growing up with and living with on a daily basis – their primary caregivers – be it mothers, fathers, grandparents or siblings. After that it would be peers and teachers, followed by celebrities. Many people think media personalities have a lock on being the most influential role model for girls, but really moms have the most influence.
RESCU: Who are the most influential role models to women in their 30’s and 40’s, 50’s and beyond?
Jess Weiner: This can vary by woman – family still is important but now you have spouses, partners, friends, colleagues, and children to add to the mix. I think celebrity has less of a personal hold on women in their 30’s – 50’s and the bigger impact comes down to relationships.
RESCU: How can women be more supportive of each other’s confidence?
Jess Weiner: First and foremost by realizing that there is enough beauty and confidence to go around! This isn’t a competition – we know from our research at Dove that only 4% of women around the world would describe themselves as beautiful. So we have to focus on lifting up the confidence of the women we love by being supportive, avoiding toxic gossiping or body bashing, and through leading by example. It would also help if women didn’t look to other women as enemies but rather as allies. The media can sometimes fan the flames of aggression between women, but we need to help each other create a world where beauty is a source of our confidence not our anxiety.
RESCU: How can we teach positive self image to our daughters?
Jess Weiner: We must model before we teach. Our daughters pick up on everything. Especially non-verbal communication. If you groan when you pass a mirror or roll your eyes when someone gives you a compliment, girls pick up on that and begin to adopt those negative behaviors as their own beliefs. We know from our research that 6 out of 10 girls will stop doing something they love because of how they feel about their looks.
So it’s important for women to model as much self-love, compassion, and kindness as possible. It doesn’t mean pretending to be perfect, but engaging in real honest conversation with your daughters also helps. And try not to talk about your body or your beauty as a “curse” or something that needs to be “fixed” – girls pick up on that language, too.
RESCU: Many women lose their confidence after having a baby. What are your tips for reclaiming your sense of beauty and confidence after having a baby?
Jess Weiner: Remembering that your body – your beautiful body – is what helped create this life in the first place can be very powerful in fighting the body blues after a baby. Also, take pressure off of yourself to lose weight right away or compete with the media pressure for thinness – and do what you can with what you’ve got. Focusing on self-care and not weight is important – being an engaged, vibrant, and compassionate mom is going to be the best gift you can offer to your child.
Jess Weiner travels worldwide, working with community leaders, mothers, faughters and CEO’s to enhance confidence and self-esteem. Jess has authored two best-selling books, A Very Hungry Girl and Life Doesn’t Begin 5 Pounds From Now and is currently working on a third book to assist mothers and daughters in creating confidence that will last a lifetime. Jess shared her expertise in women’s and girls’ as a Dove® Global Self-Esteem Ambassador.
Dove is committed to creating a world where beauty is a source of confidence, not anxiety, and in response created a short film, Camera Shy, to raise the question of why women hide from the camera as an adult, but loved the camera as a little girl.
