It can happen when you least expect it. It impacts your world and those around you completely. When it does strike, it hits us in our most vulnerable spot, our heart. Tragedy unfortunately will touch everyone during their lifetime.
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There are different ways we can experience a tragedy:
Health, Finances, Relationships, Death (friends, family and pets), Miscarriages, Accidents (car, work or social) and then there are the tragedies experienced globally that we can feel so deeply.
When it does strike, it usually hits you with shock first, moving into loss and then grief. One of the difficulties in moving through a tragedy is understanding how you work as an individual through these times.
For some of us, we can be quite emotional and expressive in our feelings. Whilst others can be very internal with their feelings and analytical in their thoughts. It doesn’t matter how you manage your emotions, it’s knowing how you do this. It gives you the framework to understand how to support and get yourself through one of the toughest times in your life.
For myself, I tend to hold my emotions internally whilst I try and process what’s going on. I understand my need for some sort of order as I move through this. So I create a support where I journal and write out my thoughts and emotions. It’s important NOT to hold everything inside of us. I will also seek certain friends for their ever-loving support. And finally if I need more, I will look for professional support.
On the other hand as with some of my clients, they will look for professional support straight away. They understand they need to lean and have guidance with someone they trust outside of their circle. They will express their experience outwardly. This can be quite cathartic and beneficial, as all friends and family understand and are aware of what’s happening in this moment.
Life will lead us on unexpected roads and even the harshest terrain will shed some light at certain times. During our most vulnerable points in life, we have to dig deep. We also have the opportunity to learn what we’re made of. Who steps up for us AND how we step up for ourselves. Tragedy does change relationships. But it can also create and deepen the most powerful relationships between our self and others.
How to move through a tragedy:
1. Take a moment and just breathe. Slowing down our breath can stop the increase of adrenalin and cortisol running through our body – it’s the body’s response to flight, fight or freeze.
Tip: Breathe in through your nose and follow the breath all the way through to the belly hold, then release through your mouth.
2. Doing and addressing one thing at a time. Using mindfulness techniques can assist in keeping you calm and centred in our minds. Allowing you to think more rationally.
Tip: Slow down the breath as above and bring your focus to the sound and sensations of your heartbeat for a few minutes. Every time your mind drifts, bring back to this spot.
3. Use your support group. Talk to friends and family that you trust and can rely on. Let them see the tears, let them be there for you. Seek a professional that you can work with and more importantly that you have a sense of connection to.
4. Journal what your experiencing. Emotions and thoughts will fluctuate. Stepping into them all the time can be exhausting and chaotic. Notice your emotions and journal what you’re experiencing through out this time. You’ll be surprised how therapeutic it can be.
5. Give yourself time. Time does heal whether you want to hear this or not. It allows you to reassess your life. What’s important and what you ready to let go of. And can define what you cherish in life the most.
